‘Everywhere, we learn only from those we love’ Goethe, 1825

Now, now, now ... Once again someone more clever (we assume), more renowned, successful than us – and so forth – is telling us how it’s done. The cheek! Fair enough you might say. But I would ask our poet how many of those who taught him did he love? And he did alright, didn’t he?

So let’s stick up for all the bad-tempered, fiery eyed, terror instilling, dictatorial classroom tyrants that ever were. Where would we be without your iron fists, short fuses, go stand in the corners and barked commands? Let’s indulge, like our poet friend, in some conjecture and say: surely we’d be without backbone and moral fortitude.

Let’s enjoy that Latin teacher shouting mantric verb conjugations at us while whacking a snooker cue on the table to keep time. Let’s pay homage to the volatile history teacher who you laugh with one moment, only to be ordered out of the classroom the next for a minor transgression. And what of the child-hating chemist pouring ‘it wasn’t like this in my day/children had respect’ scorn on the new generation? The sadistic sports coach sending you on laps and laps and laps of the sports fields. They are all legends in their own right.

For a moment let’s exalt them over the doe-eyed art teacher who treats pupils like grown-ups. How undignified to be pandering to the mob anyway. Let’s not snivel, let’s get tough and show them what’s what. Who’s the boss? Be Quiet! That’s an extra hour of detention for you! You’re late! That ‘oh no’ feeling when you’ve been talking to your friend at the back of the class only to look up to meet that steely gaze – she was watching all along.

Sorry Goethe but enough of learning from our loves for a small moment. Staff room villains we salute you!

12 April 2010